Where to begin?
Honestly, I think I just need to get this website up and post a first blog, so here we are. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with this little corner of the internet, but I’ve known for a few years now that I at least want to claim my territory in this ever-growing e-space. How I choose to fill my corner though is an entirely different story. Alas, I’ve hit “go live,” so this is going out there into the void.
The marketing side of my brain tells me that I should use this site to “build my authority,” prove to future employers that I know my stuff and can write effective content and present it in a pretty way. This version of my website is also slightly enticing because perhaps I could make a little money in my internet corner. An e-lemonade stand, if you may. (Or maybe more like Lucy’s advice booth, as this actually isn’t an e-commerce venture. Whatever. Semantics.)
But the less logical piece of me just wants this to be a journal of sorts. A place to spill my thoughts. Somewhere totally unstructured that can be totally and completely mine. Because I’m human and I crave validation, it’d be cool if other people wanted to read it, but that opens up an entirely different can of worms. If other people were to spend some time in my e-corner, I think I would need these people to be totally different than the people that I interact with in the real world. Having real-life-people that know real-life-Morgan read my very personal thoughts is absolutely terrifying.
I have to wonder, though, why that’s so scary. Wouldn’t it be a good thing? Wouldn’t the world be a better place if people could be completely, unapologetically, wholly themselves? In sitting here thinking about it, I think the real fear comes from the fact that if people could read actual Morgan thoughts, then I would be forced to be actually Morgan in real-life. And that is terrifying. Going back to the whole, “I crave validation” thing, one of my deepest fears is to be disliked. Even just typing that out, it sounds ridiculous. Completely normal, but ridiculous. I want to be the best version of myself that I can be. But current Morgan has flaws. Everybody does, but I’d like to pretend that I don’t. Again, r i d i c u l o u s. But to know e-Morgan and to know real-life-Morgan are probably two very different things to most people. It shouldn’t be that way. But it is.
This got very rambly very quickly, so I’m just going to wrap it up. This is my corner of the internet. It is currently unfurnished, but I’ll hopefully give it some love sometime soon. Who knows what it’s going to look like. To decorating!
